Convention Rules (revised)
After the minor fiasco with the convention rules in the last progress report, I thought it would be a good idea to clarify everything. But then I thought, why bother? Either people will ignore the rules, or they'll be the sort of person who's very considerate and wouldn't break them anyway.

So with that in mind, the first rule is really the only one that we need to clarify:

1. The committee reserves the right to eject from the convention any member who is deemed to be acting against the best interests of the convention.

See? Simple, isn't it? All you have to do is be nice and you'll be fine. Oh, and it would be super if you were to abide by the rules of the hotel, which are pretty much as you might expect: don't be too loud, don't upset the other guests, and so on.

And on top of that, there are of course those in-built "common sense" rules that we, as humans, learn and develop as we grow up, such as Don't Kill People, Don't Steal Things and Don't Leave Your Octopus Tied to a Sycamore Tree During a Storm.

So that's pretty much it, I think. You are of course allowed to bring weapons along if they're part of your costume. Apart from that I can't think of any other rules that other conventions have. Isn't there usually something about not allowing smoking during the panels? Or maybe I'm thinking of something else. These days, what with all the recent trouble and everything, I'm lucky if I can remember my own name! Do you ever get that thing where you go into the kitchen and then wonder "what did I come in here for?" Well, my entire life is like that! Like, only yesterday I found myself out in the shed wondering what I'd come out to get.

What happened was that it was raining so I put on my anorak and then because the ground between the back door and the shed was all muddy, I decided that I needed my wellies. So I searched high and low for them, and couldn't find them anywhere, and then I did that memory-probing thing to see if I could remember when I'd last used them. You know the memory-probing thing I mean: you tilt your head back and look up at the ceiling for no reason. Maybe it's something to do with the shift in gravity affecting the neurons. Anyway, I was doing that when I noticed that there was a crack in the ceiling that I hadn't spotted before, so I said to myself, "Better fill that one in."

Unfortunately, the crack-filling stuff was in the shed, and I couldn't get to the shed without my wellies, which I couldn't find. When I eventually did find them, I trudged out to the shed but then I couldn't remember why I'd wanted to go out there in the first place. So if you have any idea as to what it was I was supposed to be doing, please contact me at the usual address and let me know. It's cold out here in the shed and I'm getting hungry.