The Fanny Ashes
In November of the year 2002, in a little town known as Croydon that resides somewhat south of London, a ceremony took place. This ceremony saw the creation of the institution to be forever known as THE FANNY ASHES.

The President of ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha (the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy Appreciation Society) and the De Facto Chairman of Sproutlore (the Now Official Robert Rankin Fanclub) engaged in a number of rituals. Blood was spilled on books, Latin was uttered, there were hymns, chants, blessings, cheering and then the books were burnt on a pyre, fuelled by all present engulfing the flames with Absinth sprayed from their foul mouths. The ashes were born. Now YOU must compete to win the ashes.

At TCASU, all members will be allotted a team. We have four teams:

The Golden Order of the Hermetic Sprout

The Most Excellent Order of Towel Bearers

The Secret Engineers of the Speech Bubble

The Holy Sect of Drink feck and Gurls

We would like you to select – in your order of preference - which cult you would like to be part of. Now obviously a good number of people will go for the Holy Sect of Drink and Girls, so please give your order of preference, and we will try to slot you in...

Of course, if you decide not to elect to join one of the cults, we may decide to induce you against your will into whichever one takes our fancy.

Your fellow cultists will become your family, and you must do your utmost to win the coveted Fanny Ashes. Points will be awarded during the course of the convention, based on involvement, participation and who is having the best fun.

There will be a number of Fanny Ashes Events, where we will randomly select Cultists to take part, and beat (often literally) the other evil brainwashing cults.

The Fanny Ashes Fannish Olympics
Put your fan skills to the test, as we time you and race you to complete various fannish tasks, whether it be collating, preparing con packs and dealing with irate Guest of Honours. Meanwhile, other cultists may try to dissuade you with their inane questions.

The Fanny Ashes Shaving Competition
We are looking for gallant heroes to volunteer for this one. Points will be awarded on the 4 'S's...
1. Speed. The amount of time taken.
2. Smoothness. Someone may use a silk scarf or his / her tongue to check.
3. Screaming. Obvious really: it may hurt! Points may be deducted - or added – depending on how funny it is.
4. Secretions. Points may be deducted for secretions / blood, or flesh missing.

You'll need to bring your own equipment for this one, but here are some suggestions: hot wax, sugar wax, Immac (now known as Veet), razors, gaffer tape, sandpaper, Epilady, scissors, plasters, liquid latex, double-sided tape (for you and a friend to compete together), matches/lighter, electrolysis, tweezers, pliers, bulldog clip, superglue, fingers...

The Fanny Ashes Cultist Book of Records
Prepar to battle it out as we do our version of Cool Hand Luke! See how many Cadbury's Cream Eggs you can fit in your gob! Can you drink a litre of water without pausing for breath? We will have a wonderful selection of records to try to achieve, and we welcome any suggestions, however loony.

Fanny Ashes Special Olympics
Prepare to do battle in the most extreme sports imaginable. We will have all the strange ones from Chicken Boxing to Blind Shotput. Expect it to get very messy with the Three Armed & Legged Egg and Spoon Blindfold Relay Race.

We will also have the Fanny Ashes Family Fortunes and, as mentioned, there will be Fanny Ashes points available to cults in every single panel, so perform! Perform!

Please Mail your team preference, with your full name and membership number, to the usual e-mail address.