GUESTS
Yes, we will have guests at the con! Robert Rankin you already know about, but what of the others? Why don't their names appear in the membership list, at the very least? Well, we decided that we don't want a con where everyone comes just because of the guests – we want people to come because of the con itself, if you see what I mean. Let me put it another way: say we announce a Big Name Guest, there's a good chance we'll attract a lot of people who are fans of the Big Name Guest, but who won't necessarily be interested in our sort of con. These fans would then fill up membership slots that could be filled by those who are more "our sort of people." So for that reason, we've decided not to announce our guests until closer to the convention date.

DISCOS
We will be having three discos over the course of the weekend, and have decided on our themes...

Friday Night:
Friday's theme is "Villains, Anti-heroes and Superheroes". Now, you can't cheat and just wear your underpants outside your trousers and pretend to be "Superman on a budget." Apart from the fact that that's a cheap and obvious joke, we want you to really put the effort in! Of course, you might choose to be a villain instead; you could tattoo your body and be Robert De Niro from Cape Fear, or you could be Saddam Hussein or George W. Bush (depending on your definition of a villain), or you could be Charles Manson, or Roy Keane, or Gary Glitter. It's entirely up to you!

Saturday Night:
Saturday, if all goes well, is the Karaoke night. Following the success of this event at Damn Fine Convention, we thought we should bring it back. The music will be your own choice. As for the theme, well we decided that perhaps we should go with an Eighties feel. That's right – get out those silvery Miami Vice suits, leather ties, and white stilettos. Add much volume to your hair, or get some red PVC and come along as Michael Jackson, or get lots of sparkly clothes and be Gary Glitter. We don't mind.

Sunday Night:
On Sunday we hope to have Robert Rankin's band The Rock Gods playing live. They have an excellent set and are sure to entertain. We will also have a DJ, and perhaps a few other bands. This is the ROCK night. That's right: we want you to come in your black leather or PVC pants, cut-off denims, studded wrist bands and dog-collars, or just that aggressive and angry look. You could even dye your hair an unrealistic black and stretch back your face so it looks like you've had a face-lift and pretend you're Gary Glitter. Well, you could...

CHALLENGES
This is not a specific event, as such, but will be happened throughout the course of the con. Destined to be something that for years afterwards will be talked about by every member and their solicitors, Challenges works like this... Person A challenges Person B to do something (it can be anything at all, as long as it's legal). If Person B accepts the challenge, they agree on a price. Let's say it's €10. They then fill out a Challenge Form (so that we can keep track of who did what). If Person B succeeds in the challenge, Person A pays him or her the €10. But if Person B fails, then he or she has to pay Person A. This might sound like a more regulated form of the drunken dares that occur at every con, but this one has a good purpose: Whoever wins the challenge will be expected to make a donation to They Came and Shaved Us, which will go to our charity. So, now you have a good excuse for daring your mates to xxxxxxgxxx xxxx and xxxxx the xxxx, with a xxxxx!
Editor's note: Sorry, but our legal people have censored the above words. We asked them to leave them in – we even double-dared them, and called them "yellow-bellied cowardy-custards" – but they insisted. Then they issued us with a lawsuit because we called them names.

CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH
No, unfortunately we don't have any real celebrities out of which to beat the crap. This is a lot simpler... We get sixty-four celebrity names (real or fictional), randomly draw them against each other, and allow you good people to decide which you prefer. Then we get the winners, and do it again, until only one is left standing. Each member of the convention may submit five nominations, and we'll put the top sixty-four into the Arena of Death. See the website for more details.

VICTORIAN SHOW AND TELL
We have a number of Show and Tells organized (this comes from being in people's homes and them showing us their coolest or strangest thing). Robert Rankin will be running the Victorian Show and Tell, so if you have anything at all from the Victorian era, from your granddad's medals from the Crimea to an interesting edition of Dracula, please bring it along, and let us know beforehand.

THE MOST AMAZING SHOW AND TELL EVER
Yes, rummage around in that bed locker, or in the garage, we know you have something weird/old/strange/amazing and we want to know all about it. We may do a 'Call my Bluff' around these things, but we need as many of you as possible to bring something along. We will be offering prizes to the people who bring the coolest things, again, please let us know beforehand.

FREAK TIME
Got an inny instead of an outie? Can you walk on your toes? Bend your elbow the wrong way? We want to know, and more importantly we want you to disgust and enthral your fellow attendees with your strange abilities.

WEIRD FOOD TASTING
We've done donuts, others have done cheese, trufs mostly do chocolate, now we are looking for the out-and-out weirdest food possible. Already we have crocodile, cobra, snails and reindeer pate (poor Blitzen hahahaha!), but we need more, much more, and weirder. Some of you will be on holidays this summer, so keep an eye open for anything strange in a vacuum pack or even better in a tin. We need it, we want it, and we will eat it. Will you?