Alien from Dark Star (you know, the beachball thing) Audrey Horne Avon (from Blake's Seven) Bagpuss Batman Bender Benny Hill Blade Bob Britney Spears Buffy Summers Calvin Captain Janeway Catwoman Chewbacca Danger Mouse Darth Vader David Lynch Douglas Adams Dr. Who (Sylvester McCoy) Dr. Who (Tom Baker) Dracula Eric Cartman Ermintrude (from The Magic Roundabout) Ford Prefect Gandalf Harry Potter Hobbes Hugo Rune James Bacon James T. Kirk John Higgins

Judge Dredd Kermit the Frog Marchant Margaret Thatcher Marilyn Manson Marvin the Martian Marvin the Paranoid Android Penfold Rincewind Robbie the Robot Robert Rankin Rupert Giles Scary Spice Scooby Doo Special Agent Dale Cooper Spider-Man Spike (from Buffy) Strontium Dog (Johnny Alpha) Terry Pratchett The Luggage The Master (from Buffy) The Mummy The Prisoner The Rock The Stainless Steel Rat Tigger Tiny Clanger Tobes Wicket the Ewok Wolverine Yoda Zaphod Beeblebrox

The contestants were randomly drawn against each other, and the attendees present voted for their prefered winner in each match. The winners were then put back into the hat (we actually used a real hat for this!), and drawn against each other for round two. And so on.
In the event of a tie, the Deathmatch Master (me) would have the casting vote. Luckily, it didn't ever come to that.

THE CONTESTANTS	THE WINNER
Audrey Horne vs David Lynch	Audrey Horne
Eric Cartman vs Ford Prefect	Eric Cartman
Britney Spears vs Captain Janeway	Captain Janeway
Tobes vs Ermintrude	Ermintrude
The Prisoner vs Rincewind	The Prisoner
Catwoman vs Tigger	Tigger
Scary Spice vs The Luggage	The Luggage
Danger Mouse vs Terry Pratchett	Danger Mouse
Hugo Rune vs Wicket the Ewok	Hugo Rune
Harry Potter vs Kermit the Frog	Kermit the Frog
Gandalf vs Tiny Clanger	Tiny Clanger
Robbie the Robot vs James Bacon	Robbie the Robot
Dr. Who (Tom Baker) vs Alien from Dark Star	Alien from Dark Star
Spike vs Marilyn Manson	Spike
Special Agent Dale Cooper vs Judge Dredd	Special Agent Dale Cooper
Blade vs Spider-Man	Spider-Man
Zaphod Beeblebrox vs The Mummy	Zaphod Beeblebrox
Marchant vs Strontium Dog	Marchant
Marvin the Martian vs The Rock	Marvin the Martian
Robert Rankin vs Dr. Who (Sylvester McCoy)	Robert Rankin
Benny Hill vs Yoda	Yoda
Douglas Adams vs Bagpuss	Bagpuss
Dracula vs Avon	Avon
Buffy vs Wolverine	Wolverine
Scooby Doo vs Bob	Scooby Doo
The Master vs Calvin	Calvin
Rupert Giles vs Marvin the Paranoid Android	Marvin the Paranoid Android
Bender vs Penfold	Penfold
Batman vs Margaret Thatcher	Batman
Chewbacca vs The Stainless Steel Rat	The Stainless Steel Rat
James T. Kirk vs Darth Vader	Darth Vader
John Higgins vs Hobbes	Hobbes

For most of these matches, there wasn't much doubt as to which way the show of hands was going - though Eric Cartman vs Ford Prefect was a close one.
A big surprise here was the triumph of The Stainless Steel Rat over everyone's favourite Wookie, Chewbacca. I suspect that had Chewie gone up against someone else in the first round - say, Benny Hill - there's a good chance he would have made it further into the competition.
Tobes had the misfortune to go up against everyone's favourite hat-wearing cow... It was no contest. Ermintrude won hooves-down, to cries from the gallery of "Ermintrude for TAFF!"

Sadly, Robert Rankin was drawn against Tigger, and was severly trounced (not to mention bounced, pounced and flounced).
Danger Mouse and Tiny Clanger fought long and hard, but in the end the cyclopean rodent won over the incomprehensible woollen beastie.

Things are getting hotter, and one clear pattern is emerging: Damn Fine Con attendees have fond memories of their childhood TV shows. Of all these winners, only Zaphod Beeblebrox is a real person. Except of course he isn't really.
I was a little disappointed here that we didn't get to see Marvin the Martian taking on Marvin the Paranoid Android.

The round that separated the wheat from the not-quite-so-good wheat... Despite a strong showing thus far, Zaphod is completely slaughtered by Kermit: it might not be easy being green, but it's clearly a lot easier than having two heads and three arms.
Likewise, the cowardly Scooby does a runner when faced with the greatest secret agent of them all.
Certain fans, in an attempt to confuse your humble Deathmatch Master, have been caught putting up two hands during the voting stage: a clever trick that will certainly come in handy during the next general election. In fact, James Bacon who shall remain nameless snuck out of the room and returned with a third hand cleverly sellotaped to one of his real ones.

The semi finals... Only four contestants remained, and their fans were out in force. No one wanted to see Tigger fail, but Ermintrude holds a special place in the hearts of these people. And anyway, these days you can barely move without falling over merchandise with Tigger on it, but where's the Ermintrude merchandise? So it's about time that the flower-eating cow received a little recognition.

The Ermin versus the Vermin... It's been a long, hard battle, but in the end the title of Supreme Champion of the Universe goes to the one, the only, Danger Mouse. Who, we are reliably informed by his show's opening song, is the greatest.

And there you have it: the fans have decided. If you disagree with any of the outcomes of these matches, well, tough. That's what democracy is all about, apparently.

My thanks to the lovely Alix, who drew the contestants' names from the hat (so if anyone's to blame, it's her), and the lovely Leonia, who kept score and made sure I didn't screw up too much. Plus, she's the one who suggested Ermintrude...

All together now: "Ermintrude for TAFF!"